Autism, Marriage & Self-hatred

Update on Ashley 

This last semester Ashley has had a lot of illness with a stomach bug, the flu, a UTI and side effects from the UTI so we had some rough patches and setbacks. We started seeing a huge regression in potty training but it turned out that it was a UTI which she was not able to tell us. I had to let go of a lot of guilt from my frustration with her over potty accidents and not seeing the signs. However, this last month she has been very healthy so we have seen some progress which is a beautiful sight to see and hear! :)

We feel blessed to have a wonderful team around Ashley this semester and how hard everyone works to help Ashley reach her full potential! We love all our ABA therapists (Sascha, Kelsey, Jenn & Andrea) and Ashley loves doing community outings working on waiting, social skills, communication, accepting no, transitions, etc! Tracy & I have been doing Son-Rise Playroom (play therapy) this semester and Ashley seems to enjoy working on letters, colors & numbers! We also have Grace and her team at school who celebrate her victories and have currently been working on her answering yes and no to questions which has been very helpful! We want to hear her voice her preferences instead of just pushing the item away or having a meltdown.

Ashley's Highlight of this Semester 
I imagine Ashley's favorite part this last semester was our trip to SeaWorld with close friends! She saw the roller coasters and kept requesting to ride. I do not enjoy them very much but Ashley got to ride her first roller coaster which she LOVED! She also got to meet the Sesame Street characters and gave Elmo a spontaneous hug! She also enjoyed the Shamu show and watching him jump out of water at different places! I loved reported back to all our therapists about our trip because it affirms them that all their hard work is paying off and Ashley is making progress!

Following Directions

Ashley has been getting better at following directions with no verbal or physical prompts from another person! At the park, they have a new zip line that Ashley LOVES and Jeremy pushes her fast! She independently gets off after 1 turn, gets in the back of the line and waits her turn!

We made cookies for our neighbors and Ashley pulled apart the dough. She separated them well on cookie sheet and flattened them out. She also put a small amount of sprinkles on each cookie which was progress because in the past she would have kept shaking lots onto 1 cookie! :)

Potty
Ashley is starting to request potty at school and on community outings! At home, she is starting to walk into the bathroom independently when she needs to go!!!!! We are praying this will continue and she can become 100% independent. A lot of outings or events have been planned around her potty schedule and some events we have even avoided because she had not yet had a BM that day.

Speech & Language
Ashley continues to imitate words and is not even using her iPad to communicate inside the home now! In this last month, she is also starting to answer questions with NO prompting and answering question appropriately!!!! At school they have really focused on her answering with yes or no so that she will start responding each time with words instead of actions. I love seeing how she is comprehending better and really thinking about her answer before responding. Sometimes she takes a few seconds to respond and it is a beautiful sound!

Some common questions she is responding to yes or no to:

"Do you need to go potty?"
"Do you want a snack?"
"Do you want to watch ....?"
"Do you want to go to ......?"

Some common questions she is now able to answer verbally:

"What color is .....?"
"Can you count how many...?"
"What do you want to watch on TV?"  (She normally answers "on-sters" for Monsters, "Elmo", "Trolls" or "bell" for Tinker Bell)

I tried to capture some on video to share with our family!

Birthday Party

Noah got invited to a Troll Hip Hop Dance birthday party from a girl he knows from Preschool and church. The girl's mom, Kim, emailed me to invite Ashley to come also since she knows Ashley loves music and dancing too! That was so generous of them to include Ashley in a birthday party that would be filled with 5 year olds! Ashley loved it and did sooooo well! Jeremy and I were able to stand on the side and Ashley was following the teacher's instruction! We were amazed that Ashley didn't need anything repeated or need one of us to shadow/redirect her. Ashley followed all these instructions like stand in line at back of the room, grab a hula-hoop, kick out your leg, freeze when music stops, etc! Jeremy and I were both so proud of her and loved seeing that progress! It got a little tougher at the end when she was ready to eat cake but she did end up waiting. The birthday girl also asked me several questions about Ashley and I was able to inform her and her friends about Autism too!

Marriage

Disclaimer: Jeremy and I are not experts on marriage nor do we have a perfect marriage. We have been married 12.5 years now and I know we still have so much to learn. However, we are really excited about what God has been teaching us and how he is transforming our marriage! We discussed adding part of our story to this blog because our marriage affects Ashley in all areas of her life. We hope and pray that this below might encourage another couple out there who are struggling. :)

 Jeremy and I have overall have had a good marriage over these 12 years but there have been rocky times just like most marriages. Our rough times were during our first year of marriage, when we were trying to get pregnant with Ashley and how I handled my infertility issues, when Ashley was a very tough toddler and we pulled away from our church & friends, when Ashley was getting diagnosed with autism, and after Noah was born.

This past year Jeremy joined the HCBC Men's Ministry Small Group on Thursday nights and God has used it to transform our marriage. They did one study of John Eldredge on Prayer and another powerful lesson about "Agreements". I watched this "Agreements" video also and I have started to see spiritual warfare in a different way. The "Agreements" referred to lies that Satan feeds to us and that we believe. For example, "If my wife knew this about me, she would never forgive me", "My husband will never change", "This is not a sin because everyone does it and it's acceptable in our culture", "I'm not beautiful because I hate this ... about my body", "That woman looks like she has the perfect life", "That person would make a better spouse than who I am married to", "I could never be healed of this addiction", "I will never be happy", etc. If we believe these lies, then we are saying that we have no Faith that God can heal us, transform us, help us out of temptation, or that He created us in His image.

God has been convicting Jeremy of places in his life this past year that he needed to confess and turn away from. In October, Jeremy finally shared ALL of it with me and asked for my forgiveness. Over the years, he made an "Agreement" with Satan that I would never understand and would never forgive him. Not all of it was against me but what he started realizing that his sin (big or small) affects our marriage, affects how he can lead our family, affects how he can be a father to our kids, and affects how he relates to others. God used all of this to inspire me to search my heart for those areas that I need to change and surrender. Since this big breakthrough, we have had some of the most honest conversations ever and shared even the ugliest parts of our hearts. We are realizing how our sin has kept space between us and God and also space in our marriage. If we feel shame & guilt, then we pull away from God and others. However, if we bring sin to light then we able to be healed and have freedom!  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

We are ALL broken and have wounds but God is healing Jeremy, God is healing me, and He is elevating our marriage to a richness we have never experienced! This is a wonderful song called "Broken Together" by Casting Crowns.

We are always under spiritual warfare and we are both realizing this will be a life long battle. I am so proud of Jeremy for how he is being a spiritual leader to me and our family now! Every night we "check-in" with each other about our day regarding our struggles, lies we denounced, and victories! We are now partners in our struggles and prayer warriors for each other! I love getting to know Jeremy's heart more each day and to start understanding how his past wounds & scars affects how he relates with me and others. We were even able to get away for a weekend and wrote out new Commitments to each other & Goals for our marriage! It was a wonderful time to reconnect and really share our hearts with each other!

We are also reading this book together and it has been very eye opening. We have had great discussions from this book so far on how our life experiences growing up have shaped us into how we relate to others. If we had the funds, I would buy this book for EVERY married couple that I know! :)  As a woman, do you feel super clingy or do you try to control the situation and your spouse? As men, do you get super angry or pull back, being passive? What if it didn't have to be like this? What if there was the ability of understanding our differences in a way that draws us closer to Christ and closer to each other? We strongly recommend this book!

https://www.amazon.com/Love-War-Something-Beautiful-Marriage

Self-hatred 

I didn’t want to include this part about me personally but then I knew that meant I was suppose to. I was making an “Agreement” with the enemy that this was too personal to share and that is my pride wanting to protect my image on how others see me. God has been working on many areas of my life  but one area that has been a struggle for me all my life is Self-hatred.

I have always felt insecure about my looks and body image. I have compared myself to others since middle school especially tv actors or models on the front of magazines. God has finally gotten through to me using this “Agreements” video that this is a sin against Him. I am responsible for being as healthy as I can like eating right and exercising. However, I can not criticize the areas on my body that I cannot change otherwise I am insulting the One who Created me!

Psalm 139: 13-15 
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

I think self-hatred of body image might be the top struggle women have their entire life and never fully conquer. I know God has been healing me in this area over last few months and it will be an area that I will need to surrender daily. Letting go of Self-hatred has changed how I am relating to Jeremy and how I view myself! I always appreciated when he said I looked beautiful but I never believed it. I also didn’t believe it all those times I read Psalm 139 above. Lately, I keep hearing from multiple sources (church sermon, book, video, songs) that I cannot be satisfied by my spouse or rely on him for my happiness. The best thing I can do for myself and our marriage is to be completely satisfied in Christ and look to Him for my identity!

The Letter of the Day: i - z

Ashley has made amazing progress with her handwriting this summer and identifying more letters of the alphabet!!! Again we are soooo thankful for our Son-Rise Team and Therapists who have helped us with Letter of the Day, increasing her speech and her behaviors! I have tried to highlight all of them in this blog too because they all work so hard and truly believe in Ashley!

After going through all the letters, my admiration for all the Pre-k teachers, Elementary teachers and Special Education teachers has increased greatly because it can be a lot of work to keep kids attention and focus on activities! :) Ashley is definitely motivated by edible manipulative (pretzels, twizlers, marshmallows, etc) to create the letter and we will do that activity after handwriting practice. It can be frustrating at times because her attention span is still short but we will keep working! We are going to spend 3 days on numbers and then start the Alphabet over for the rest of the summer bringing back in the lowercase letters!

Here are some highlights for Letters i - z

Letter i : This morning we played "I Spy" on our walk for different colors and then ran at the end! Since dried Elbow pasta was so popular with Ashley, I bought multiple types of pasta. Ashley and Noah both love playing with these big containers pouring pasta Into the box and Into each others! Ashley also got her Yo Gabba Gabba toys to come play in the pasta too which made her start laughing!

We played in the backyard pouring water Into the buckets and had crushed Ice to eat!

After playing outside, we ate Ice Cream and she was very close to saying ice cream! :)

Letter J :  Today Ashley did a great job getting the vacuum out, plugging it in, and seemed to have fun vacuuming! Jenn put down small pieces of paper so that Ashley could see the vacuum picking up the paper. I love that Jenn took a picture to send  me so I could see her progress!

Ashley did a great job saying 2 syllable words spontaneously today! She asked me for "on-sters" and pointed to Monster Inc Toys! I have never heard her say that before and so clearly! She said it 2 more times! She had Jelly and Juice at lunch!  When daddy got home we made Jello, tried to Jump Rope and Jumped around!

HANDWRITING
Tonight I tried something new with Ashley's handwriting. I wanted to see how well she could write the letters independently with no tracing and a visual aid. Everyday we practice tracing the "letter of the day" but then I realized both kids need to keep practicing the previous letters too. It took her a few times to understand that I wanted her to write the letter below on dry erase board and not trace on the actual letter. Once I guided her to write the first 2 letters on dry erase board, she started to write the letters but needed help with letters B & G. I was soooo impressed and proud of her! :) I am glad we tried this method and we will keep building each day to practice. Ashley seemed to struggle with some of the lowercase letters so we all decided just to focus on the Uppercase letters for now.

Letter K : Lyla, Chloe and my mom worked on Letter K, L & M ideas last week! The girls were staying with Grammy & Papa's house attending VBS so they really got into making "Letter of the Day" activities! We are so grateful for their help and it was cute to hear how excited they got with new ideas! Lyla is demonstrating a Kangaroo activity where we can hop around like Kangaroo with scarf tied around stomach while singing the song!

Today on our walk, we found several Letter K's on license plates and in the Free Little Library stand. After the walk, the kids enjoyed eating Letter A and R donuts that were given to us by a good friend!

Son-Rise Session: Tracy had a great session with Ashley today and they did the fun activities that Grammy, Chloe, and Lyla planned. They made a Kite with crumbled tissue paper, a Kings crown, Kangaroo sash and and Kissed the K! Then we had a Kid's Meal with Papa at Chic-fil-a followed by Kicking at swim lessons.

In the evening with daddy, we Kicked the soccer ball, ate Kiwi, and made the letter K using Kit Kat bars!


Letter L :  Today we played with Legos, ate a Lollipop, had Lunch, and Ashley sang "Jesus Loves Me" by filling in words with me several times today!

Son-Rise Session: Chloe and Ashley played with Legos, Little Shopkin toys, marbles, and had fun jumping! Miranda brought Lipstick for them to play with and then did a craft using glue to attach cotton balls onto picture of a Lamb. They talked about the word Love and lots of Laughs.


Letter M : Today Jeremy helped with Letter M after church and they talked about Milk, Monsters, and Monkeys while making Monkey noises! I went to San Antonio today to help prepare my Grandmommy's house to list on the market and I found some items I think Grandmommy would love for us to use in the Playroom! I found an old Oreo metal can we can use on Letter O day, Santa ornament we can us on Letter S day, etc. Jeremy took BOTH kids to Target by himself and it went so well! He needed to get a few grocery items and Ashley did so great with no behaviors! Jeremy commented about how easy the trip was with both kids and how Ashley has made a lot of progress in a year!

In the evening, we did our Letter of the Day M tracing using workbook page. Then we did the activities that Grammy and their cousins planned out for us! We used gel icing to write the letter M on paper plate and used Marshmallows to outline letter M! We also did a large foam Minnie Mouse puzzle.

HANDWRITING
This picture shows Ashley's progress with writing letters using visual aid! Yay!!! She needed assistance with letters K and M but the rest were independent!

Letter N : I took both kids grocery shopping this morning and I did my full list with Ashley pushing the cart! She helped me pick out the Nutella to-go snack and Nilla Wafers! After lunch we made Noodle Necklaces that Grammy prepared for us and then enjoyed our Nutella snack!

Letter O : Ashley colored an Octopus today and had Oranges for snack. In speech, they worked on Open, Over, etc. We had family dinner that evening at Kerbey Lane and Ashley did so well for 1 1/2 hours sitting! She was in a giggly mood at the beginning and we were all so impressed with the progress she has made with sitting and waiting for food patiently!!! It ended a little rough but we think it is because we pushed the outing time too long. It was fun to see my Uncle, Aunt, Cousins and their families!

Letter P : Ashley got to Play at a bounce house with Amber and had Peanut butter & jelly sandwich. We also made the letter P using PEZ candy.

Son-Rise Session: Pam came to Play in the Playroom and brought Pirates, small fuzzy Pom-poms, Pocahontas Barbies and Pictures, Pink bouncy balls, Pink baby Pool, ate Popsicles, and dot Pen activities on multiple coloring sheets including Pineapples, Pigs, etc.  Ashley LOVED it all!

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We took a break on "Letter of the Day" while attending Joni & Friends Family Retreat! It is a family camp for special needs families hosted at Camp Allen in Navasota, Tx. We had am amazing time again and enjoyed all the activities! The pictures below include:
- our first family dinner after arrival
- our first morning of camp Ashley woke us all up at 5am so excited for camp to start
- pool time each afternoon during family time
- family dance night and theme was Board Games. Jeremy came up with idea of Sorry! game pieces
- 3rd morning of camp on the way to breakfast
- Ashley falling asleep in the car last 30 minutes of drive home. She has NOT napped since she was 2 years old so that was a huge shocker to us!

Ashley loved her STM (short term missionary buddy) Tara who was with her last year also! Ashley held her hand everywhere and never wanted to part from her! :) Ashley had so much fun with her and we were at complete peace during the day knowing she was in excellent hands with Tara!

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Letter Q:  We did letter Q on the Monday after we returned from Joni & Friends camp. I did not have much prepared and we seemed to all be recovering from the retreat. We found the letter Q in some books throughout the day, found a toy Queen, and found Quarters in my wallet.

Letter R: We celebrated Ashley's birthday today on July 4th with family having pizza, cupcakes! She loved her singing Elmo gift and swimming at the pool! We pointed out Red items around house (Elmo, wagon, hat, car, book, train, rainbow, etc) and played with some Ribbons from her gift bags.

Letter S: We found letter S on the Postal Service mail boxes, license plates, free library, street sign and found lots of Stars on all the flags for July 4th. She had a fun outing with Kelsey and they also painted a Star!

Ashley and Charlie have the most adorable friendship in the world!!! They SPONTANEOUSLY hold hands and hug each other all the time!!!! Charlie is Ashley's FIRST best friend! and Ashley is also Charlie's FIRST best friend! I am so thankful for wonderful therapists who have social outings each week so Charlie and Ashley get to have more play dates! She even Shared her Elmo toy today with Charlie!

Son-Rise Session: Today Ashley and I wrote the letter S in Sand and then she loved it as sensory activity. We played with Strawberry Shortcake toys, books, and images. We had Snack hidden in Socks which I then turned into Sock puppets. She also loved getting tickles form the sock puppets! We did Stamps with Stars and made confetti with paper stars. She did great verbalizing lots of S words during our session too!

Letter T: On our morning walk, we found Trees, a Truck, the letter T on Texas license plates, Toyota logo and in US Postal Service logo.

Ashley had a social skills session with Charlie this morning and they practiced playing some board games together! She also tried Apples & Cinnamon Oatmeal and it turns out she actually likes it! :)

Son-Rise Session: We had to do a joint session today with Noah in the Playroom and started out playing with sand. They both wrote letter T in sand and then we played with the sand. We played with Tinker Bell toys and looked at a Tinker Bell book. We also got Tickles on our Toes! The session got cut short today because Noah was getting cranky so it was too hard to manage in the Playroom.

Ashley was very verbal today and it is hard to document everything. Some spontaneous words that stick after today are "On-sters" for Monsters toys, "T-bell" for Tinkerbell, "Bath" for bath, "Water-un" for watermelon, "socks, juice, chip, ice, I want, book, train, bye, hi, sea (for sand), pea (for peanut butter), t, kles (for tickles), tree, done, elp (for help), shoes."

When Jeremy got home, we built a large Train Track using box a friend gave us! Ashley actually helped build half the train track and then had fun lining up the Trains in her order!

Letter U: On our morning walk, we found the letter U in word Austin, United States Postal logo, and a street sign. I forgot to bring our umbrella for the walk. After our walk, Ashley spontaneously came up to me with the remote and said "Monsters" very clearly with the M sound!!!! She got to watch Monster's University right away! :)

Papa came to treat us for lunch and Ashley said "Papa" so clearly! She also held his hand when we left our house, when we got out of the car, and when leaving Chick-fil-a to return home. It seemed like she wanted to make sure Papa came everywhere with her! :)

Son-Rise Session: Pam came to have an outdoor session on Letter U. She made several stations in the backyard and Ashley did great waiting while Pam set up. She made a wall with U theme papers to use dot pens. There was a mini sprinkler so they could lift it Up onto their head and a water station where items were Under the water. Pam brought a Unicorn My Little Pony toy so Ashley took it to all the stations. She communicated to us that she wanted her own My Little Pony toys so she could join them with the Unicorn! Pam and Ashley put all the My Little Pony toys onto the swing and pushed them for a while! :) They also made snow cones  by putting the cup Under the machine and at the end decorated the letter U with Unicorn stickers and dot pens!

HANDWRITING
100% INDEPENDENT HANDWRITING!!!!!! Ashley traced the letters A - U and then wrote them on the dry erase board! We need keep working on letter A & K but she is making huge progress with G, N and R!!!

Letter V: This Saturday morning Jeremy joined us for our walk to find letter V. We saw a Van, CR-V logo, and several V letters on license plates. We also found Vegetables, Velcro, a picture of Violin, the Vacuum, and ate Vanilla Waffers.

Kelsey came to have a make-up session with Ashley and did so great! They explored a park and then observed the animals at Petco. Ashley is doing so great not putting her hands in the fish tanks anymore :) She enjoyed watching the chameleon today and apparently tried to feed it one of her Goldfish crackers! We think she might have connected it with the chameleon off Tangled Movie.

We had a great afternoon at our local pool and Ashley transitioned so well when were leaving! There were also 3 birthday parties going on at the pool but we had no issues! In the past, she would keep going to birthday party area for their decorations, food and/or cake which got really challenging. Normally we would have to leave within 10 minutes of her spotting a birthday party.... We are so grateful for our therapists who have helped us in areas like this because it makes public outings enjoyable and much more relaxing!


Letter W: This morning we found some W items around the house like Wagon, Wiener dog, Water, and Watermelon play food.

Son-Rise Session: After church, Chloe and Aunt Miranda came for Son-Rise Session for Letter W. They played with Winnie The Pooh figurines, read 2 Winnie the Pooh books and a puzzle, Wiggled in the seats, colored picture of Watermelon and Winnie the Pooh eating Watermelon! We had a few challenges today with Ashley wanting to throw the sand and dried pasta noodles. She did well communicating what she wanted to play with today and used ALL the crayons to color her picture of Winnie the Pooh!

In the afternoon, we played in the Water at the pool, Vanilla Waffers for snack, and had Watermelon at dinner! Jeremy tried to give Ashley an opportunity for independence on the large slide today. Since there were only 1-2 people in line, he thought it might be a good opportunity to try. She did an excellent job Waiting in line and listening to lifeguard when it was her turn!!!! She did that twice today waiting in line all by herself! We are at Elizabeth Milburn pool every Saturday and Sunday afternoon in the summer if anyone wants to come join us!

HANDWRITING

Ashley is making great progress and I love seeing her write independently the letters of Alphabet. I am having her trace the letters A, G, K, N, S and U before writing independent since she is still needing work on those.

Letter X: This morning HCBC Back Yard Bible Club (BYBC) started so we got to attend the 9am club hosted at Little Land Play Gym for special needs kids and siblings! It is run by trained teenagers who play with our kids in the gym, act out skits, read a short bible story, and sing songs with our kids!

Ashley did great transitioning to story time at BYBC in the back room and sitting during the story, skit and singing! Ashley already had therapy with Andrea at this time so Andrea came with us so I loved being able to talk with all the other moms! Sascha is also our supervising BCBA for Ashley's program but I don't have a picture! She puts a lot of work into training everyone, updated goals and all the paperwork!

We played X marks the spot around the house finding post-its! Kelsey helped Ashley find letter x on the kids menu at lunch too! We also kept making letter x using our arms. She is struggling to write the letter x so we will keep working on it!

Ashley did so well waiting and listening on her outing with Amber today that they celebrated by getting Snow cones!

Letter Y: On our morning walk, we found letter Y on license plates, RecYcle bin, Yard, and on a book in the free library.

Noah is at Grammy & Papa's house for a church camp for a few days so Ashley is using his wagon. Noah's wagon is full of Robots but Ashley decided her Sesame Street Characters needed a ride today too! She thought it was so funny!

We attended BYBC again and Ashley was running ALL over the place today. She had a harder time at story time because another kid was crying but she made it through. Jenn came with us today and she helped Ashley on her social skills with her friend Drew! Ashley also wrote her own name on the name tag!

She had a great Speech session today with Brooke and they worked on Letter Y also!

When Jeremy got home, Ashley wanted tickles and to run with him! We were trying to incorporate her answering a question "Do you want to run?" with "Yes" for letter Y day!

Letter Z: This morning we attended BYBC again and Ashley started to participate in the song that has movements. She has watched for 3 days and today she did the thumbs up and arms in motions!!! It was another big turn out so it was a tight squeeze in the back room for snack and story time!

Son-Rise Session: Pam came to have an outdoor session with Ashley for Letter Z. The put the Zoo animals into the small pool and Pam wore a Zebra on her shirt. She brought Zucchinis to play with, decorate, cut, and eat! They ran in Zig-zag lines and cut zig-zags on paper using special scissors.

HANDWRITING
Ashley is making progress!!! I got her to trace the letters G, K, S and X after writing out the letters on the dry erase board. Then she rewrote those 4 letters on dry erase board and made big improvement! We are also working on her connecting the A at top so it does not look like the letter H. Before the summer started, she would not have been able to write these letters independently and so clearly! We are all so proud of her!!!

The Letter of the Day: A - H June 20, 2017

I am trying to journal each night a quick paragraph about the highlights of each day with our Letter of the Day theme! I am learning so much already after these few days about the types of activities that motivate Ashley when doing educational goals. Some ideas were successful and others were big failures but I am glad we at least tried! This has been a LOT of work with preparation and lesson planning especially getting Ashley engaged by trying to use the 3 E's (Energy, Enthusiasm, Excitement). However, I know she is soaking some of this in and it has been really beneficial for Noah! We are thankful for all the ABA therapists, Son-Rise Volunteers, and family members getting involved in this theme to make this fun! If I did not have all their help and support, then I might have let this go after 2 days! :)

We are getting into a good routine with short activities throughout the day and quick reminders at random times. I keep a dry erase board with a marker close by during the day so we can write out words fast. Here is an example of what seems to be working best for Ashley and our schedule:

After Breakfast: We start with our "Letter of the Day Introduction". Noah and Ashley each do 1 page in the Sylvan Letter of The Day Workbook by tracing the Letter 4 times, make the letter using different manipulative items each day (Popsicle sticks, twist ties, crayons, pipe cleaners, etc). Then we watch the Sesame Street Letter of the Day Video which is a huge motivator for Ashley having characters dance and sing! After the video, sometimes she will do more tracing in the Write and Wipe book doing Upper and Lower Case letter followed by the Sesame Street video again!

Morning Walk: We take our flashcard and look for items that start with our letter. License plates have been really helpful to see them visually.

After lunch: We do a short tracing worksheet that also has space to write independently. Then we might use food items to make the letter (marshmallows, DOTS candy, pretzel sticks, etc) or do edible craft about that Letter of day theme.

Throughout the day: We keep the Letter flashcard in a Ziploc bag so all her ABA therapists can take it out too. They are wonderful at pointing out things with that letter of the day!

Son-Rise Session: We try to plan games, activities, and snacks around the letter of the day!

Night: We do a short tracing activity or fill in missing letter worksheet which is followed by a fun activity with daddy (bowling, Freeze dance game, hopscotch, etc.)

Letter of the Day Journal

Letter A : We started Letter of the day on Monday, June 12th. For the first day, it went much better than I expected especially since it would be adding a new routine for Ashley. Doing 1-2 minute activities for the Letter A was perfect for her attention span. See blog Ashley's Summer Program 2017 for details on letter A day!

Letter B : Bugs Life was our movie and craft theme since she likes that movie right now.  On her walk with Amber to check the mail, they spotted Birds. We did some Baking muffins that afternoon and Ashley is getting better each time with cracking eggs, pouring, and stirring! When daddy got home, we played Bowling for a few minutes and then got a Bath with Bubble Bath!

Ashley also ate a salad with Black Beans and other ingredients for lunch! She is making great progress trying new foods and seems to like most of the new foods! She also got to swim in Blue water wearing her Blue Bathing suit doing a social skills therapy session with new friend. You can see Ashley is holding his finger so the he will get in pool with her!

Letter C : When Noah, Ashley and I went for our walk this morning, we spotted a lot of C words (car, cat, cloud, concrete) and on a Recycle Bin we pointed out the 3 C's on the can! We also colored Father's Day coloring pages to make a Card for daddy.

Son-Rise Session: Pam came to play with Ashley in the Playroom and they had a picnic lunch with foods starting with letter C (Chicken nuggets, carrots, chips, cookies). Ashley helped her in kitchen to prepare and even washed & peeled carrots! Pam also came wearing the letter C on her shirt and she made a C headband (Cowboy boots, candy cane, Cross, Cowboy hat, Cat)! Ashley had sooooo much fun! Pam  planned out everything for their session and I was inspired by her excitement and creativity for letter theme!

After dinner, I asked Ashley to write the letter C on dry erase board before the kids finished Cookies from lunch. She wrote the letter C independently (no assistance, no visual, no tracing) and did it perfectly!!!! I was so impressed! She got lots of praise and tickles. I asked if she could do another one next to it and then kept going which is pictured below! This was huge victory and confirmation that all this prep work is going to be worth it!!!

Letter D:  Thursday morning after Letter of the Day introduction, we went and got Donuts! Ashley said "pink" when pointing to donuts through glass and then "les" (for sprinkles) when I asked her if she wanted sprinkles too! She also did great sitting there patiently after she finished and no behaviors. We have had so many issues in the past with treats because Ashley always eats super FAST and Noah eats soooo SLOW. Our therapists have helped us tremendously in this area and Ashley is making so much progress not taking other peoples food, whining for their food, and accepting no for when she cannot have an item!
After lunch, we did a short D tracing worksheet and then made the letter D using DOTS candy!

She had fun at a splash pad with Amber that afternoon and was trying to engage with some girls her age! We are so appreciative that they are helping us with her transitions from water activities because it can be so tough leaving splash pads and pools.

Letter E: On Friday, Tracy was not able to come, so I did a joint Playroom session with Noah and Ashley. It went much better than I thought and it was a great time to work on social skills with her brother. We did an Egg hunt for theme Letter E in the Playroom but there are not a lot of hiding places. They still loved it and each got 5 eggs!

The night before I found expired Elbow Macaroni in our pantry so I thought maybe I could put them all in a container and bury Elmo (more E items). I also brought upstairs 2 small measuring cups since I know Ashley likes to pour things. It turns out that Ashley LOVES just playing with the Elbow macaroni. She would put her hands in it, grab handful and then slowly let them fall back into the bowl. Noah wanted to get a small measuring cup of Elbow Macaroni and dump in too. At first Ashley did not want him to scoop it out and tried to grab the cup. I intervened and told her to ask nicely with her words. She must have heard me earlier say we could use our cups to "pour" so she looked at Noah and said "I want pour".  She did that 2 times after and it was really enjoyable being in Playroom with both kids! I also found a very cheap sensory activity for both kids so I will need to buy more dry pasta! :)

Papa came to treat us for lunch at Chic-fil-a and the kids were so Excited! Again Ashley did fantastic sitting with us at the table and sitting patiently until we were all done. She did so great and even left the playground with no behaviors!

We also went to swim lessons with Alison and she is trying to help Ashley with arms that "reach" for the sky. Noah is doing great learning new instruction from Alison and really loves it now!

Letter F: Saturday morning we did our new summer morning routine: Letter of the Day book tracing letter F, make the letter F using pieces of yarn, and then watched our Sesame Street Letter F video. Jeremy joined us for the first time though since starting. We then went on a family walk around the neighborhood looking for Letter F and I also bring a Flash card with Lowercase and Uppercase F. We found Flower, For sale sign, Ford logo, F in license plates, and F on Fire hydrant. When we got to a truck that had F in the Ford logo and license plate, I asked Ashley if she could point to the letter F. She found them both!!! Then after we went to have Fun at the Veteran's Pool with other special needs families.

Son-Rise Session: After the pool, I got to have a session with Ashley in the Playroom! We had feathers, flags, fairies, frisbee, finger puppets, foot tickles, finger tickles, and made the letter F with our pretzel sticks at snack time. She loves the new flooring because she was able to line up her Disney Fairies! She spontaneously said "I want etzel" for pretzels and then said that each time wanting more snack! She also spontaneously said "T-bell" for Tinkerbell! She said several other words but trying to stick to big highlights this summer!

In the evening we made the letter F with marshmallows and I know the kids love the Edible Manipulative activities to make the letters! I tried a new activity of Finding Letter F jumbled with other letters like a word search but turns out that was too overwhelming for Ashley. I am learning a lot as we go along. :)  Ashley also was able to go back to the pool for 2 more hours with Jeremy so she went to bed quickly after almost 5 hours of pool time today!

Letter F (repeated for Father's Day):  Before church, the kids each gave Jeremy their Father's Day Cards and he was impressed with their coloring!

Son-Rise Session - She wanted to play with similar F items again like yesterday. I brought in the magnetic Fish game that goes in circles, she let me take a turn and use pole to get a Fish. Then she would look at me and say "ish" for the fish. She spontaneously said "I want etzel", "T-Bell" (for tinkerbell), "Pour" (when I scooped some shells out), "b-beans". She let me trace her Foot on paper and was so ticklish in between her toes so there was lots of laughter. I also sang a little jingle "finger on the foot" giving tickles on her foot with my fingers which lasted a long time, lots of laughing and great eye contact!! We think tickles are her love language! :)  I also painted her Fingernails and she wanted to use all 3 colors (dark pink, light pink, and green) on her nails. I asked if she would paint my Fingernails and she did quickly with light pink! It is hard to see in the picture but my entire fingertips are covered! haha! I love that she painted my nails and we will keep trying!

We also made the shape of F using Marshmallows and she is getting really great at writing letter F independently! Also, if we see a food box with letter F on it I will ask her to find the letter F and she is pointing it out correctly every time!!!

We then had Fun at the pool with family on Father's Day! Ashley engaged with Chloe and Grammy multiple times and it was sweet to watch! By the end of the day, Ashley was able to write the letter F independently and shown below!

Letter G : Today Ashley looked for a Garden, Garage, and Green Grass on her walk! She also went with Kelsey to Grocery store with her Grocery List of 4 items which all started with Letter G! She did a great job shopping and seemed to enjoy it!

For snack that afternoon, I tried to get the kids to make the letter G with Granola Cereal in the Greek Yogurt.... I did not think how difficult this would be for them! haha! That was not easy for them especially since the pieces were all different sizes so we just stirred in the granola and ate it!

For dinner, we included Guacamole, Grapes, and Green beans! Ashley seemed to struggle writing letter G and lowercase g but she will get there! She is trying so hard and I am so proud of her!

Ashley is now flexible at bedtime and I can read her a short book before bed!!!! Tonight I read "God Knows All About Me"  and would look at the book when I stressed God for letter G! She used to keep saying "bye" and would direct our arm to the door indicating she wanted us to leave.

Letter H : After the Letter of the Day introduction, we went on our walk wearing our Hats! She does not normally like anything on her head but she even put her hat back on when it feel off running. We couldn't find many H words except a lot of Houses. I thought Ashley looked so cute in her pink hat that I ran ahead of them to try capture picture. She started laughing when I ran and then wanted me to keep running. She said "run" and I would run about 10 steps ahead of Noah and Ashley while they caught up since I did not want too get far from them with driveways and cars. I would pause to wait for Ashley to say "run" each time and we did that about 8 times until we got home! I loved hearing their laughter and we will be doing that a lot more!

She had a social skills therapy play date with her Best Friend Charlie! She helped push him in circles and actually wore her hat. Ashley had NO behaviors at this park which was so surprising because the pool was next to them and open with people inside swimming. This shows huge progress therapists have helped her make because this park would NOT have been possible 2 years ago during open pool hours. We have only gone to this park when the pool was closed.

However, when Ashley got home from the park, she kept requesting "swim". She had a major meltdown and it was hard to get her to speech therapy. Noah is learning to ignore Ashley during these times and move to the other room. If anyone gets too close when she is super frustrated or having a meltdown, she might grab the person's arm and squeeze hard. Ashley's meltdowns are one the hardest things for me to deal with. I know the only way for me to respond in a way that is loving is for God to do it through me. I have been reading this book  "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller in our small group at church. It really helped me today during her meltdown and how best for me to respond which was praying for her, Noah and myself. The author of this book has a daughter with autism and I love his examples of how to pray for our kids. It is a life changing book and so much great discussion!

When daddy got home, we played Hopscotch but did not follow any rules for first time tonight. We just hopped on the numbers and Ashley even did it a few times after watching daddy do it. She always gets extra energy when her daddy comes home and desperately wants his attention! Noah loved being challenged to skip numbers and made big hops!